Xbaal plucked at the thin material that clung to his skin. He was resplendent in the polyhystamine silver and black one piece that showed him to be a working warrior in the Xaal forces. No more armour for him.
He slumped down into the chair that stood in the middle of the training room. It was nice to be able to slump and slouch without the back of a breast plate prodding you below the ribs, or the hilt of a sword rising up to stab you nastily because the point had stuck in the carpet.
He looked around at the sparse furnishing and decoration of the training room. Room was a bit of a misnomer: it was more like a broom cupboard: which was not surprising, as this is what it had actually been for several years. The old training room had been located in a plush section of the building and had only been moved when the building was re-decorated. Exploration into the null zone was top secret, and also rather dangerous, with the result that the Minister for War had decided not to relocate the training room - and the training officer - from their temporary location. After all, with the mortality rate from spying trips so high, no-one was that likely to come back a hero and complain about the facilities. And as it was so top secret, no-one knew much about it in the first place.
Xbaal knew nothing of this, and merely assumed that it had been disguised as a broom cupboard: which is exactly the kind of response the minister had wanted.
Finding the room hadn't been easy. After picking himself up from the shock of imminent death, Xbaal had looked briefly at the dossier given him by Xway. The smiling face of his superior, with a few words of advice and a threat of an even more imminent death if he didn't stir himself, had spurred him into action.
The training room was located in the thirteenth sub-basement of the building. This may seem a little excessive, but there was very good reason: the thirteenth sub-basement was below sea level and was prone to flooding. It took a hardy constitution to work there. Splendid training for what was to come. Then again, no-one who went to the training room was around long enough to complain (see Minister's reasoning above).
But why would a building have thirteen sub-basements? The answer is simple: foundations. Given the chemical imbalance in the rain, and the howling gales bought on by the holes in the atmosphere wreaked by Crithode weapons over the anums, it was as well to have deep foundations. Then there was the matter of the building sub-contractors. The Xaal building trade would have invented the term cowboy if ever there had been such things as cows: it was notorious for its dodgy concrete and strange ideas about safety - 'a loose wire, sir? No, that's the plumbline.'
Added to the misery of immense depth and damp was the fact that Xbaal had been sent to five different levels and fourteen different rooms by fellow workers from whom he had asked directions. He assumed that their sending him in the wrong direction was a tribute to the security of the training department. Then again, he didn't see the sly smiles of his colleagues, still in their armour while he was in polyhystamine.
Eventually he reached what must be the right door. He gave the secret knock, as instructed by Xway:
Knock - pause - knock knock knock - pause - knock knock - pause - pause - knock.
There was nothing. Silence.
He tried again.
Nothing.
He tried a third time, only louder. There was a vague shuffling behind the door, and it opened a crack. A wizened old man in rusting armour peered out at him.
'What do you want?'
'Uh, my name's Xbaal - Xway sent me. I'm going into the null zone.'
'Xway? That impudent pup? You'd better come in.'
In a state of shock, Xbaal followed the old man into the room. It had never occurred to him that there could be anyone older than Xway working in the ministry.
The old man, whose name was Xdance, dragged an ancient vidi-viewer with severe design lines, covered in layers of dust, from the corner of the small room. Xbaal had only seen such things in museums. There wasn't enough room to swing a cat - or at least wouldn't have been if there had been such things as cats; instead, the Xaals had pets called Xcretes, who were the size of pumas but not as pleasant - but it still took Xdance an embarrassingly long time to position the viewer. He produced a tape, blew dust from it, and inserted it.
'You'd better watch this,' he said shortly. He pressed a button, but the machine failed to respond. He prodded at it. Nothing. With a strength that belied his apparent frailty he thumped the machine hard with his fist, and it groaned into life.
'Never could get the hang of this new technology,' he wheezed to himself sadly as he retreated to his files in the corner.
While Xbaal watched the training vid, Xdance consoled himself with his memories. At his advanced age he couldn't remember what happened yesterday but could recall with crystal clarity events from some three or four hundred anums before. He had always wanted to be a brave warrior, but somehow it had all passed him by. He had joined this top-secret section as he thought it would lead to rapid promotion. Instead, he was told how important he was and then forgotten. Xbaal, on the other hand, had been marked down for office work from the time when he was a boy of eighty anums, when his mother - the lovely and fearsome Xtreem - had dragged him screaming to the Ministry to sign him up. It was a quirk of the Xaal system that children were allowed to sign up for their future careers at an early age. This system had been evolved on the assumption that most young boys wanted to be soldiers and had not thought of the drawbacks to this: like a short life span, for instance. It was a sound system, as the armed forces were over-subscribed. Not every parent was as far seeing as Xtreem.
Xbaal watched the vid in some confusion and awe. The screen became a swirl of colour, and a voice intoned: -
'This is what the null zone looks like. If you are not authorised to watch this, please switch off the tape.
'The null zone is the point at which all dimensions meet. To enter would be certain death. However, travel between the dimensions now possible thanks to the invention of the Anti-Matter Converter. This marvellous device... '
Xbaal mentally switched off and watched the pretty colours. He'd seen vids like this before. They were supposed to be educational, but...It was no surprise to him to see the credit at the end: 'Produced by the Doesn't Not Anti-Matter Corporation of Xaal (Converters of electrical goods a speciality - very good rates.).'
'It's over,' he shouted to Xdance, who rose muttering from his files and extracted the tape. He put in another tape: the one given to Xbaal by Xway.
'This was sent back by our spy on earth, where you are going.'
'What happened to him? Any chance he could brief me?' Xbaal's enthusiasm died away as Xdance pursed his lips, sucked in his breath, tutted loudly, and shook his head.
'Just watch the vid,' he muttered.
Xbaal swallowed hard and watched. First a man in a funny round hat and a moustache ran about kicking people. Then a young woman stared reflectively at a flower. Following this, several men in silly uniforms hung off some kind of vehicular conveyance and hit each other. All of a sudden, sound came onto the tape as men shouted at, and shot at, each other. Then some more men, including one with a long smoking cylinder stuck in his mouth and a large painted moustache, made faces at each other, ran around a lot, and chased women.
From this, Xbaal came to the conclusion that earth was in black and white, that people had only recently learned to talk, and that they weren't terribly intelligent.
And these people had invented the weapon he had to steal?
The vid ended.
'What now?' asked Xbaal.
'Come with me', muttered the old man. He led Xbaal out of the broom cupboard and into an even smaller room next door. There was a suit of clothes draped over a chair.
'Your disguise,' the old man muttered. 'Put it on now, boy. I've chosen a cover name for you after a perusal of the period evidence.' He waved some scraps of paper at Xbaal. 'Henceforth, you will be known as Arnold Corns.'
Xbaal relinquished his polyhystamine with some reluctance. The new clothes were stiff and rubbed at his skin. But at least they weren't as hard as armour.
Finally dressed, he brushed back his hair to copy the men in the vid - although he wished he were blonde, as one of the men had a beautiful curly head of blonde hair. Funny, but he hadn't learned to speak like the others...
Xbaal's musings were cut short as Xdance ushered him out.
'Now then, young man, I will operate the anti-matter converter from this end. This key -' he handed a small electronic device to Xbaal as they walked along the corridor - 'will open it again after you return. Don't worry about the scorch marks, the key will survive... even if you don't. Ah, we're here,' he continued rapidly before Xbaal had a chance to ask any awkward questions.
'This is it?'
'Certainly is,' replied Xdance as he opened the door marked 'Lavatory'.